Useful advice, wiping the tears of despair, pain and sadness..

OK, hello readers. Yup, noticed there's no cheery'Hiya all!'s and exclaimation marks and smiley faces at the begining of this post? You're in for a depressing time. Just whenever you're flying high, getting a 'well done very neat' and sticker in science, you skip back home all happily only to burst into tears, hugging your knees and wishing there was someone next to you, holding your hand and whispering 'Its Ok'.
I know I have no confidence in myself, one of my weak points. I can't be bothered to be excited and to say 'Okay, I'll just keep trying" anymore. Its like climbing to climb one of your trees in your backgarden but once you get to a certain height you can't find a branch near enough to reach in order to climb to the next stage, or constantly jumping on a bouncy castle; up and down, up and down. Going back to confidence, when I look at a person getting an award for saving a life or something, and I see them say "I never thought this would be me, getting this award" I blissfully imagine myself saying that, and then ZAP! We're into my mind, and I know that could never ever ever be me. However I know there are people in my situation, who think exactly the same way - and this post on www.robynwaltz.blogspot.com is exactly like me. Its like, whenever I get back someone back that's been horrible to me, and it serves them right, they always think of something worse than I did. Sometimes it feels like I've been cursed with bad luck. I don't even trigger it with my negative thoughts. Sometimes I beleive nature honestly has something against me. That is what triggers my negative thoughts. I've only had one true best friend in my life, Rosie, and yesterday I got the sly remark from a girl in my class Her baby cousin has more friends than me. Yeah, I do stand up for myself. Only to get every chav in the school come up to me chewing gum and hoopy earings sticking out walking up to me in a threatining way saying "
Ya' Dissin' Ma friend? Ya got problems you nerd". School is the last of my problems. Writing is the only way to express my feelings. If I expressed it by screaming, I would have no voice and about the whole planet would have died from ear pain/shock. Writing stories is my main hobby, but poetry I like too. Here's a poem I wrote.
Tears
They prickle, they hurt they sting,
They roll down in drops of sadness, leaving around my eyes a red ring,
I feel my heart feel sharp, I feel so full of despair,
I can almost imagine a friend comforting me, but as I turn there's no-one there,
I wish I was full of joy, smiling away,
But I'm so hurt, and so angry, It's so hard to be happy today.
They prickle, they hurt, they sting,
They roll down in drops of sadness, leaving around my eyes a red ring,
As they fall more, there is no more to fall,
Its been a long time, I must be brave, I must be strong after all.